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December 9th, 2004

07:51 pm
i forgot how much i loved 'that thing you do' what a great cast

and i just wanted to say how amazing my friends are

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November 27th, 2004

05:51 pm
the shore was pretty good.. fun too.. i never want to leave the state of mind im in there.. even sitting around doesnt feel lazy.. thanksgiving was typical.. the older boys locking all others in the bathroom upstairs my aunts and uncles all getting drunk and me.. sitting.. the rest of my week was kinda blah.. nothing special or interesting for that matter.. maybe next week will be better and when we go back tuesday theres only 18 days including weekends till christmas break soo yeah i think ill manage
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Current Music: push - matchbox20

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November 15th, 2004

07:41 pm - the realm of possibility - 'something to you'
there was a time before you
but i cant remember it now
a time before you and i
were formally introduced
im sure i lived without you
but dont remember how
cant imagine living without
these feelings youve produced

just one glance
and my life was redrawn
just one word
and my vocabulary changed
i asked the time
and you said 'whats the hurry'
you asked my name
and i almost forgot

i know
the odds are all against me
and i know
you might not feel this way too
but i know
i would rather die trying
to know
if i could mean something to you

seven wonders of the world
and i have to ask for an eighth
fill a bottle with some prayers
and spend them on hope
create an easy route
just so i can complicate

we're on
our way to being friends
and i guess id
like to make a detour
you seem
to recognize me
you wave hello
and i lose all of my nerve

i know
the odds are all against me
and i know
you might not feel this way too
but i know
i would rather die trying
to know
if i could mean something to you
Current Mood: ...relaxed
Current Music: owen- places to go

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November 12th, 2004

10:59 pm - youre calling too late, too late to be gracious
not the best week, not the worst either but it was a great night with gduff. spent some quality time with the fire in the fireplace and hot chocolate watching our favorite movies. topping the charts tonight would be dirty dancing havana nights.. only bc of diego and the philadelphia story.. bc of cary.. but yeah we talked to marta (the deaf one)for a while then grace and i both became unusually enraged oo at about 10:50 when we signed online.. but yeahh no more about that.. brooke is over for the night and i have to get up at 7.. soo im out ... especially bc i passed out in the middle of breakfast at tiffanys and i dont even remember doing it
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: lots of Jay Quinn in the hopes that itll calm me down

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November 8th, 2004

08:30 pm - sometimes love dont feel like it should
ha today... me dem jenn dev meg moira mrs connors and doyle went to the Union League for this event for Rick Santorum and Jack Oliver spoke.. kinda got the handle on the campaign and all.. he talked about what was up with PA and the electoral college and pop vote and all that and since we were there with all the old republican men that know santorum they were all asking questions about everything but yeahh we got food and stuff and it was a great morning in the city and i didnt get to school till 11ish it was like hookie but.. good day.. it was a little long with the breakfast club though
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: make it hurt so good.. i know i know like WOW old but FUN

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November 6th, 2004

11:49 pm - we've always had time on our sides now its fading fast
sucks to want something so much that you just cant have...
Current Mood: crushed and drained...
Current Music: minus the bear - women we havent met yet

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October 7th, 2004

06:30 pm
so today, not a bad day... game wasnt too bad either.. didnt win but not a bad loss. Shipleys pretty evenly matched and the 2 goals werent my fault so yeah art class as of yesterday has become my therapy and ive turned into a huge sleepy...thing.. that got 12 hrs of sleep on a school night and fell asleep on the kitchen floor.. O right and did i mention... ALL of my friends are at the usher concert.. and im just bummed that im not there for martas birthday bc im not a big usher fan but yeah.. its her birthday party-ish type deal and right now.. its fake hw-feeding-showering time
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: hm multiple kansas songs on repeat...

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September 7th, 2004

10:25 am - simplicity, is a gift
many dont possess it, and that is reflected in everything but then again some people are too simple minded. im going to start confusing myself soon but the ability to keep situations, stories, and thoughts simplified is an ideal thing for me to be able to do. my thoughts are too intricate and complicated for my own good. i cant stop thinking, it pretty much becomes addicting and somewhat dangerous when boredom nears. when it comes to situations.. complexity is something i highly dislike. not sure what it is exactly about the drama of fighting and deception but the confrontations that are so unnecessary just become a labryinthe of unhappiness that can be unbearable and for what, some sort of satisfaction that one is better at decieving and namecalling than the other..
the story part is just me being able to actually tell a story without being distracted by something minor..like food.
yeah didnt really want to babble on about simplicity but i wanted to say that i found the roots of my meandering thoughts
1. i never want to grow up..so on etc i tend to elaborate on that one alot and
2. despite some things, overall.. my summer was good

on a drastic change of subject i had a great weekend which leads me back to the 2nd topic of my last entry and no. i still havent found the words... honestly im very rarely at a loss for words but every time it comes up and i need to explain, the words just leave me again.. im sure everyone's had the same feeling at some point and if you know how to put it in words.. share your insight bc this is something that will drive me crazy.
speaking of drive me crazy, watched that movie yesterday and i forgot how much i love it. i either go for the really sappy stupid chick flicks or the anti chick flick with things blowing up but not much in between ha im sure if youre reading this youre sick of me just going on so im going to go change out of the pjs seeing as its like amazing outside
Current Mood: curiouscurious
Current Music: third eye blind

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August 27th, 2004

09:54 pm
yeah so i had 3 dinners tonight? i never knew how much i ate but i have an excuse for the last few weeks.. soccer has been taking over my life and its kinda good bc im getting inshape but kinda bad bc im getting injured daily the best part of playing for nd is that all of the defense has to listen to every word i say and this control feels kinda cool but then again if they do something wrong its all my fault and it happens quite a bit
anyway i had something i wanted to say but i have NO IDEA how to say it.. its more of a babbling matter but its hard to understand how i babble online, ill give it a whirl
ok so i have this littlegirl crush and i feel like im back in 5th grade again when you get all jkgvafdgaeif every time the topic comes up but seeing as im just typing this on the computer right now its relatively onesided i guess? well theres not much to be done at this moment but when i find my words ill be back to share
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: existentialism on prom night

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August 14th, 2004

08:23 pm - addicted to tockwogh
i miss camp

my cabin was amazing, we went through a lot including all of our beds being moved outside by guy named brian adams..yeah and we never got him back for it either anywayy ill never forget you girls in apache... kyle and her rubber glove and bra-bug eyes who chases the rainbow people and kelly.. who gives out clothing? and sara the adorable one, jill... yeah jill was cool...the eye makeup was kinda scary.. emilie and her contagious cackle.. jen and our similar situations and liz and her out of control hyperactivity
the things that really made my cabin complete were the councelors.. jaime brought some new words into my vocabulary and had 8 girls saying 'are you serious about life right now' every other sentence and liz was the strict councelor that made us go to activities all the time and had her mood swings but she was cool anyway
i miss all of my girls in cheyenne (sju, sallie, michelle, kristin, and mary ellen)
i miss gabe and eric and mike and dan and brian and jason and ryan
i miss waking up kelly in the morning with kyle whispering whore get up whore aww little whore hahaha
i love it there and the only things that keep me going are
1. knowing that ill be friends with these people for a longg time and
2. knowing i can always go back next year as an lit

the thing is that those two weeks were a few of the best ive ever had and ill remember them forever. i know things will never be the same and i will never see most of those people ever again but im just hoping that the memories never fade

yeah i know sounds really weird i know but unless youve been through the whole tockwogh-leaving-people-experience..sorry to say but you may not understand but ive been in tears every time something reminds of camp or someone there and i cant even imagine how bad itll be when i get my picture developed... eh i dont want to go back to my lazy boring life in berwyn... i guess i have to deal
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: farmhouse by phish

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